EP 66. Heart of a Warrior: The Inspiring Journey of Fa'apepele Hunkin.

In this special podcast episode, we sit down with the remarkable Fa'apepele Hunkin, a retired U.S. Army combat veteran, international bestselling author, and life coach. Fa'apepele, known as Pele, shares her incredible journey from growing up in American Samoa to her 19-year military career and her transformation into an inspiring author and motivational speaker.

Pele's story is one of resilience, faith, and the power of self-discovery. She emphasizes the importance of serving others with love and no expectations, a lesson instilled in her by her parents. Her journey to becoming an author was unexpected, driven by a spiritual calling and a desire to leave a lasting legacy for her children.

Pele opens up about the obstacles she faced during the writing process, including procrastination and allowing life's challenges to hinder her progress. She encourages aspiring authors to overcome these hurdles and shares her belief that everyone has a unique story to tell—a story that can inspire and heal others.

Her message is one of empowerment, self-love, and the incredible impact of sharing one's story. Pele's passion for helping others shine through as she encourages individuals to believe in themselves and embrace their life's purpose.

Join us for an uplifting and inspiring conversation with Pele Hunkin, a true warrior and advocate for self-discovery and healing through storytelling.

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Transcript

Welcome to Behind the Lava Lava, the podcast that takes you behind the scenes of the vibrant people and cultures of the Pacific. I'm your host, Michael Tan, and I'm joined today by my co hosts Milford and Ahti. This episode is brought to you by Matai Watches. A luxury timepiece brand that embodies the essence of the Pacific Islands.

Today, we have a very special guest, Fa'apepele Duncan. She is a retired U. S. Army combat veteran, an international best selling author, and life coach. Welcome, Pele. Yes, thank you. Thank you all for having me. So we'd like to jump straight into it and go straight for what's your origins, what's your background, your, where your family's from.

Okay. Well, first of all, I always, um, in everything and all that I do, I always want to give God all the honor, praise and glory. And why is because I always believe that, um, if it weren't for God's love, mercy and grace, I wouldn't be here today. So ta'alofa everyone. My name is Faapepele Hunkin and I am from the beautiful.

Village of American Samoa, but I was raised by my grandparents in Samoa. And so I left Samoa in 1994 to join the military, and I am one of 13 and the only one who, uh, decided to leave Samoa to make a difference. And so out of 13 I am. Like I said, I'm the only one who served the military. And so I am here in South Carolina.

I made South Carolina my retirement home since 2006 when I retired in 2013.

Well, we're so, we're so glad to have you because we've never had an, a best selling author or, or a life life coach on our

 Because that name, Hunkin, sounds very familiar. Yes, so, Hunkin, um, my father, uh, is from Leone, and so, but That's where my grandparents, but we lived, I grew up in an Uli, uh, all my life, um, when my grandparents passed away and then I moved back to my parents. And so I grew up in Uli all my life until I turned 21 when I left.

And my mom's name is Miryama, and my father's name is Malaya Hunkin, and I owe, I owe my faith, I owe my journey, and I owe this life I'm living to my parents, and I always say that I've grown up looking like my parents. But I know if something were to happen to me tomorrow, I would die looking like the choices that I made in life.

And I am ever so grateful to my parents for instilling that love in me and raising me to who I am today. That's why I am who I am today because of my parents. But I owe it all to God, you know, as I allowed him to be the cornerstone of my life. And so I have, like I said, there's 13 of us. And, um, it's been an amazing journey here.

 I have five children. I had, I birthed three. And I took in two more. So my oldest is, uh, Nicole. She's 25. Uh, Dean Jr. is 23. And Victoria is 18. But I took in two more blessings. Um, I kind of get emotional when I get to them. So... Dominique is 33, and she was a soldier that I took in when I served in Fort Irwin, California.

She was 23 years old at the time. She was going through a hard time in life, and so I took her in, and 10 years later, she blessed me with my beautiful granddaughter, Milan. And so Isabella is 18 as well. She's Victoria's friend. And so I've been a part of Bella's life since elementary. And so God has truly blessed me with great children.

So yes, that's, that's my family. , like I said, my mom and my dad, I really miss my parents. They are in heaven, but I know they are looking down smiling and they are proud of. Everything and all that I do, I, I honor them. I see you're getting very emotional and, uh, and I know family is important and I know when you're talking about kids, you know, I have a daughter of my own and it's, uh, it's very emotional too when I, when I, uh, you know, just, just thought, um, I know you, you said you were one of 12 or 19.

No, there's 13 of us. 13, okay. All right. So I wanted to go in between. So one to 13. So you decided to leave. , what, what were some of your influences? Cause were anybody else in your family military, or did you just made a decision because you know, are the reserve down in American Samoa or, and then, you know, touch a little bit of your time when you were in, you know, how, how was it?

And, uh, you know, so a majority of our listeners, you know, they're.  There, you know, we have a variety of them and we, we'd like to, , have different, um, opinions about the military. So if you could touch on that too, you know, just leave your opinion of why, what, when you were in and, you know, so I know it's a, it's a loaded question, but, you know, uh, if you could touch up on it, it'll be great.

Thank you for joining. Thank you. Yes. Thank you for the question. And so my main reason why I wanted to leave home was I wanted to, , give back to my parents. Um, I wanted to be the one out of all of us to make a difference in my family. And I just wanted to be the one to set an example. you know, for my siblings.

But like I said, that was my main reason why I'm living, uh, leaving Samoa was that I want to give back to my parents. I wanted to serve and I wanted to make a better living, you know, so I can, you know, support them financially. You know, we all know in our Samoan culture, we have falafelaves and, and everything that goes on.

And I wanted to be that one, you know, to always support my parents, to always, you know, be the one that they can call on, that they can count on. So that was my main reason of why I left Samoa. So when I left Samoa, uh, I joined the military. It was really hard for me initially, uh, as we all know, English is our, um, second language.

And so. I, I guess my accent was so strong at the time and my dual sound was like, Daggone it, private, speak English, and in my head, like, okay, if I were to speak Samoan to you, I probably would tell you, uh, you know, speak Samoan. But, um, I am so grateful for the opportunity, you know, to serve, to make that choice, to make that decision, to say, hey, I want a better living, you know, for my family.

I want to make that difference. And so I just want to encourage, you know, the younger generation to

make that choice, you know, to join the military for the betterment, not only for yourself, for your family, but most of all is for your parents. And I'm big on parents. You know, because I miss my parents and so that's why, um, you know, I, I love to talk about that, the touch on, you know, the importance of loving parents.

But when I was in the military, it was very hard. Like I said, it was hard initially because I, that was my first time when I left Samoa, um, for basic training, that was my first time. Being in the United States, I've always, you know, traveled back and forth to Hawaii, and that was it. So, 94 was my first time being in the United States of America.

And I had my first, um, the basic training was in Fort, I call it Fort Lost in the Woods in Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. And it was the coldest time of, you know, of the year. It was November. So it was snowing and everything. So, um, being in the military had really taught me a whole lot, you know, to be strong, to be the change and just to be, you know, to be different, ?

And so, All my life when I, um, left Samoa, I've always been that proud Samoan, and I know you all had to, and it's just something within us, you know, to always be proud of who you are. And that was my thing. I, I was very excited to be in the army and just, just be grateful, you know, that we got this opportunity to serve, to make the money, to...

Make a difference and to be a blessing to other people, and especially to our families. So, um, I served for 19 years and I was medically retired. I wanted to, to finish my 20 years, but my last year my dad was fighting for his life and. I chose to be medically retired and I said to myself, you know, I can always get another job, but I will never have another father.

So the decision I made to medically retire in 19 years instead of going through 20, you know, going for 20 years. That's the decision. I will never regret because I made that decision for my father, and that was the best decision I've ever made, you know, since I joined the military, and I will not, um, regret it, so I'm grateful, you know, to God for giving me the power, the strength, and the mindset, you know, to do what was right for me, you know, it didn't matter what anybody, you know, think or what anybody said about the decision I made, as long as I know My decision was for me and it was for my father.

And you know that that was it. And so, um, I'm just excited that I got to be in the army because I got to meet the love of my life. I met the love of my life here in South Carolina, and so we were married for eight years until until God called him home and he was injured. I was married to The love of my life, Dean Ignacio Tahaji, he was from Guam, and so he followed me to Iraq, and that is the truth.

He decided to follow me as a contractor. I'm already in Iraq because I had no choice, right? That's what the army, you know, want you to do send you there. You know, you can't, you know, say no, this is my duty. This is what I had to do. But because of the love that we have for each other, you know, he wanted, he said he wanted to be closer to where I was.

So he decided to be a contractor, you know, for the army. And so when he was stationed in a lot, He got into a terrible accident that left him, you know, in a coma for six months. And so those six months of my life, um, was extremely hard, you know, because at the time we had three kids. And Nikki was eight, Junior was six, and Tori was only 18 months when he passed.

So, like I said, he was in a coma for six months, and then God finally called him home. And so I instantly became. That single parent, you know, I became that single mother, you know, but at the time I was already a full time mother. I'm a full time soldier and I was a full time student and so I wanted to give up.

Meaning I, I wanted to not serve the army anymore. I wanted to just, just leave. There were so many, um, negative thoughts that came to my mind because, you know, he was the love of my life. But then I had to, you know, think and say to myself, and I'm grateful to my parents, especially my mom, You know, my mom was telling me to always, you know, think of my children.

So to make the long story short, I made Sergeant First Class. I made E7 in 10 years, and I am grateful to God for that. And so when I made E7, I wanted to, like I said, I wanted to get out. So my commander, I'm grateful to her. And she said for me to go to the, you know, to the advanced course. And I'm like, man, I don't even want to do it.

But the greatest thing that happened to me, I was selected by the department of the army to be an assistant inspector general, you know, here, uh, serving for Fort Jackson. And so my mom said, this is God's calling. You know, it's not your time for you to lead the army. So,  I looked at my kids and I said, you know what?

I have my Children to live for, you know, it's not about me, you know, it's about these kids because these kids didn't ask to come, you know, to come in this world. So this is my responsibility. So I decided to take, you know, the opportunity, you know, that God has blessed me with and I've accepted, you know, the responsibility.

Thank you. not the position to be, you know, an assistant inspector general. So I went to school, completed it and I am proud and blessed to say that I was the first someone female here on Fort Jackson to serve in that position. E7 position as a sergeant first class, uh, assistant inspector general. And so from there, I, um, I traveled the world and I served in Iraq, uh, I was in Kuwait and I've been all over and that's what, like I said, it is a great thing to serve, to travel.

That was another, I forgot to say that. That was another reason why I wanted to join because I, I wanted to join the world. I want to see the world. And so, um, having, uh, three children and so now, um, I am now a, , author of my book, Heart of a Warrior, The Humble Journey of a Samoan Warrior. And I have also co authored ten other books, and so I'm an eleven times best selling author.

I am a certified motivational speaker of Les Brown, and God has truly, you know, called me to serve his people. And that's what I love to do. And I do it all because it's what I love to do. So, um, now, um, after My husband passed. I lost my father. I lost my mother, but I lost my oldest brother, Ulysses Hunkin, at the age of 25 to brain tumor, and he, he died at such a younger age, and so every time when I get to another birthday, I'm thanking God that I made it to another year because My brother didn't make it to where I am.

I am 49. I am about to be 50 in a couple of months. And I am grateful to God that I made it this far in life. And so after my husband passed, like I said, I lost my parents. And then I remarried, I remarried 10 years and I want to encourage anyone to know if you had, you know, lost a loved one, I encourage you to believe that you can always love again.

And I'm speaking from experience. I'm very transparent and authentic with my journey. I will tell you all the good, the bad and ugly because that's just how I live my life. And so I remarried. And I never thought in a million years that I was going to remarry again after my husband passed. But hey, it's possible.

So, um, believe in love, but Unfortunately, I went through a divorce, so I never believed in divorce, um, because I believed in the love that my parents had, and they had such a beautiful love. I think this year, my parents would have been married 55 years, I think. It's 50 something years. And so, uh, it was very hard for me.

And so that's why I want to share this picture with, with y'all. So this was a picture of me in 2018. When I was going through my separation, um, I was, you know, going through it and I, I turned to alcohol. Alcohol was the solution to my problems when my husband passed and I'm grateful to my ex, you know, because he doesn't really drink much.

And so he helped me. But when I went through my, uh, divorce, I turned to alcohol again and everything until I was diagnosed with a heart disease and, um, 2021. And that's when it finally hit me. And I had to ask myself, and I want to ask everyone, you know, to our amazing listeners. What is your why in life?

So my why in life are my children and my grandbaby my granddaughter Milan and my fur baby I have an amazing Yorkie Debo, and so I'm asking you what is your why in life? That's the question I asked myself right and then I asked myself is your why big enough and is your why strong enough? To get you to where God is taking you and my answer is an absolute yes.

So that's when I made the decision to fly. First, love yourself. So I loved myself enough to be the change Pele wanted to see. I didn't care what anybody say, uh, see or think about me. I just wanted to make that change that I wanted to see, and that is only because my why is big enough and my why is strong enough.

And so that's when I decided to write and tell my story. I wrote this powerful book in 90 days. And I encourage you guys. to write your story. I encourage everyone to write and tell your story and share God's glory. When I first started writing my book, my children were the inspiration behind my book. You know, I wanted to leave that legacy for my children, but I just celebrated one year anniversary since my book has been released.

And you know what I realized? I said to myself, your kids. Yes, your kids, you know, were the inspiration. But you know what? I said to myself, God has always been the inspiration behind heart of a warrior. Because if God didn't bring me through all of this, I wouldn't be able to write this book. So that's why I always give God all the honor, praise and glory because his grace is so sufficient for me that got me to birth this book out.

And when I hit this, uh, the one year anniversary of my book, I said to myself, this is one thing that I will never, ever do in my life again is 600 days of never doubting what God has created and birth out of me. You know why? Because he is the soul. author and finisher of my life. And I encourage all of you to believe in yourself because I believe in each and every one of you.

And I would love to help you guys, you know, write your story. You know, I have some amazing publishers. I would love to see each of you hold your own book. birthday book out. And I encourage people to do that because I was inspired to write my book because I know and I believe that my story is a blueprint for someone's life, you know, and my story has healed so many people so far.

And I want you to know that your story, someone out there is waiting to hear your story so they can heal. So I would like for all of you to, you know, come next year. Thank You know, it'd be like, Hey, I got my book. I'll be like, yes. You know, that's, that's what I would love for y'all to do. So right now, you know, from leaving Samoa in 94, retired from the army in 2013,  10 years now,  I am living the life, you know, after many losses, I am living the life after divorce, I am living the life after the army, and I am living the life through the challenges of life.

And so when I've learned to believe that my life is magical, because magic was all around me, and you know, only because I had to believe in myself. And so, you know, I encourage you to believe in yourself too. And so that's how I was able to make it this far in life. You know, I prayed. And fasted. I didn't go to no AA because that's what someone had asked me.

Like, how did you make it, you know, that far? And I said, you know, prayer and fasting. That's the only way I made it this far is because there is power in prayer. There is power in forgiveness. And I speak on power of forgiveness because I had to forgive myself. And I encourage everyone to know that. You know, forgiveness starts with self, you know, you have to forgive yourself before you even think about forgiving somebody else and always believe that when you forgive someone else, you know, it's not for them, believe that it is for you, you deserve that peace and I had to do that, you know, um, I kind of had some challenges when I was writing my book, you know, because I was kind of like, uh, started to write bitter when I got to the divorce part.

So I had to put a pause. You know, to writing and I told my publisher, I said, I'm going to put a pause on it. I'm going to pray and I'm going to fast because I want to write my book with love. I want to free my heart and my mind and that's what God did it for me. So when I learned to forgive myself and I forgave my ex and I forgave us, y'all won't believe this, but God's blessings has been.

Mind blowing. So, um, I'm just so grateful to each and every one of you for taking the time out of your business schedule to hear my story. And I love telling my story to share God's glory and how far he has brought me through in life. Because if God did it for me, I want you to believe that he can do it for you.

It took a lot of dedication. It took a lot of determination and a lot of commitment. I made that commitment for my commitment for myself.

Oh, thank you, Pelia. We were going to divide this into sections, but you basically covered everything. Oh, sorry, I was just going. Sorry because I thought you guys wanted me to just keep going. It's fine. It's fine. Me, uh, Ahti and, um, T, do you guys want to add? Uh, to the personal. Story and a military before we continue on with their book.

First of all, I blame Ahti for the loaded question. Yeah, I mean, it was a question that led me to just, you know. I love it. Thank you. But man, the story is an amazing one. And I definitely, you know, believe in it, helping others heal and whatnot. Because, um. You know, you were referred by Uncle Jesse, you know, our multiple Pro Bowler Hall of Famer.

And I was like, all right, man, she's being referred by Uncle Jesse. Then something real is up. And you know, I only briefly checked out the IG, you know, saw, saw you with the, the quick, uh, Sergeant First Class rank pin on and, uh, seeing the self love stuff. And I'm like, Oh man, I wonder, you know, I wonder where all this is stemming from.

And then hearing your story right now is like, wow, you know, you, you've been through a lot. You know, everybody's been through a lot, but you've been through a lot, lot. And it's like, wow, to, you know, go through all of those and still rise up above it to, you know, be smiling bright and glowing right now and being able to talk about it.

It's something amazing. But, um, part of your story, you know, of course you had your why and whatnot for kind of writing a book, but did you ever. See yourself being the author, you know, did you have any inkling while you were in the army or even in your youth? Did you ever see yourself writing a book in the first place?

Not at all. Um, I, I never seen myself to be an author, although I love writing when I was in the military, uh, when I was younger, um, I love to write. And even when I was in the military, I was writing a lot, especially when my husband was in a coma and journaling, you know, really helped me.  You know, and so when he passed, I started journal more and, and everything.

So if you asked me 20 something years ago, I never in my life, you know, seeing myself as a, uh, as an author, but. It was, it always takes somebody else to see something in us for us to birth something out. I spoke at an event, um, The Sacrifices of a Mother's Love in 2015. And this lady, she is now, I'm proud to call her, she is now my spiritual mom.

She pulled me to the side and she said, You know what? I don't know you and you don't know me. But I know one thing for sure. When you open your mouth, she said, You have a book in you that you need to birth out. She said that to me in 2015 and seven, seven years later, there we have

And then real quick, um, like I know it was self discovery, self assessment, you finding out that you, you know, you need to love yourself and, um, whatnot, but, you know, always speaking about your parents and praising them. Was it any wisdom from your father and mother that sticks out to you or, you know, remains with you that helped you, you know, realize, Oh, wait, yeah, I am me.

You know, I am my parents daughter. I, I am an awesome person that I need to love. Is there, are there any words of wisdom that, you know, you draw upon? I have a feeling it's in the book, but just, you know, for this purpose, I want to ask that. Wow. Yeah, I love, I love this question and I always love to share about my parents and I'm always grateful to them and I honor them in every way.

And so what, out of all that they have instilled in me, my mom and my dad, especially my mom, have instilled in me and my siblings to always serve. You know, with love and with all of your heart with zero expectations. The only expectation you need to be expecting is God's blessings over your life. And so I have instilled that in my children to always say and do things with all of your heart and with lots of love.

With no expectations and to always believe that you can never expect people to do the same thing that you do for them. But when you like, like I said, when you do things from your heart and with love, God will bless you in many ways than you, you know, many ways that you will never be able to explain. And that's where I am with my journey.

I have blessed so many people and the main thing that my parents instill in us too is to never tell the world. What you do for somebody else to know that God sees what you do and God will bless you with whatever that you will do for that person, you know, we all know that we have a friend or two or a family or two, you know, when you do something, you know, when they do something for you, they will go and tell the word be like, Oh, yeah, you know, I, I did this.

That is one thing that I cannot and will not do. because of how I was raised. And so that's why I love what I do. And I do it with all of my heart and with lots of love because of my mom and my dad.

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it's, it's an amazing thing to, to leave a legacy. Especially for your, your children, your grandchildren, your great grandchildren, and all those who will follow them.  Just like... Us on Behind the Love Lava, this podcast will be our legacy, but you have solidified yours through your books. So my question is, For those who are trying to write books or thinking about writing books, because I read somewhere that 80, about 80 percent of people want to write a book, about 3 percent actually write a book, and 1 percent actually publish a book, and you, you're part of that 1 percent to, to publish the book.

What are some obstacles that you came across, uh, writing the whole process of? Getting your book out there. Oh, wow, procrastination. That was, that was my terrible friend. I was procrastinating one, two, I have allowed the challenges of life to take over what God had for me. And so because I had to stick to my why, and I had to say to myself, never to allow your excuses, You know, paralyze what God had for you.

That's what I had to tell myself because I was procrastinating because I was creating excuses of completing, you know, the 90 day, you know, of why I had to write. So we had daily, um, you know, work and stuff like that we have to do. And so I would have to double I would say to myself, Oh, I'm going to not do this today.

I said, I'm a double my work. You know, for the weekend or I'm not going to do nothing for the weekend. I'm going to work hard. So I was making it hard for myself, but I encourage anyone who wants to write. their book, right? Now is your time to write and tell your story. Now is your time to use all the tools, to use all the talents and the gifts that God has blessed you with, so you can be a blessing to somebody else.

And my thing, how I'm living. Right now is I'm living full and dying empty. I was asked, what do I mean by that? I am living full and dying empty, meaning I am pouring everything that God has blessed me with. I am pouring out all the knowledge. I'm pouring out all the love and everything that God has blessed me with because it's not mine.

right? And so I want it to be that blessing to everyone that God has placed in my life. So if I were to die tomorrow, I know I will die knowing that I will be leaving a legacy for not only for my children, my family, but it'll be for everyone that I have touched with my story. And so that's the kind of mentality, that's the kind of mindset, you know, I want to be able to help someone with, you know, to, to write your story.

You know, don't be stingy with your story. Like I said earlier, your story is a blueprint to somebody's life. And someone out there is waiting to hear your story so they can heal. But like I said, procrastination, um, using, uh, the challenges of life to take over, you know, what I got going. So, those were my main challenges.

I'm just grateful to what God is doing in my life, but I really, really want to give a big, big shout out to Jesse Sapolu. I reached out to him and I told him this. I said, I reached out to you because I want to personally thank you. You know, for what you do for our people, because I love football. So I'm not a niner girl.

I'm a stealer's girl. Don't, don't judge me. So anyway, but you know, I support all, you know, Pacific Islanders and all teams and I give them, you know, all the kudos because it's not many of us to be where we are. But when we are there, you know, we are there to represent, you know, Samoa. We are Samoa. So I want to really and truly thank him.

I shared my story with him and that was my main reason I'm reaching out to him and I told him I needed his help. I needed his help to share, you know, for me to share my story and little did I know he made that connection the same day and I was like, you You know, I was in tears. I was feeling very grateful.

You know, I'm humbled, you know, and just, I'm, I'm just truly blessed to be here, you know, with you guys. And I can't tell y'all enough how much this means to me, because I always want to be that blessing, you know, to our people and to the Pacific Islanders and to the world, . And, and for future readers, could you briefly summarize what your book is about so that it'll give them Id an idea of what, , You know, the sense of your book.

Yes. So my book is about the journey, this amazing journey that God has brought me through, my resiliency and the perseverance of my journey. So heart of a warrior heart is the acronym that I use for my chapter. So the H I'm talking is my first chapter. I'm talking about my humble beginnings. Uh, two is my empowerment moments.

A is attitude of gratitude, R is my resiliency, and T is when, uh, God turned my trials to, uh, trials to triumph. And so my chapter six of my book, I wrote this chapter, I wrote a, uh, a message to the warrior woman. And the reason why I made it specifically for the warrior woman to my warrior sister is because I am a woman and it was, it was written from my heart to every woman that's going to read this message.

It was from my heart to them. And my passion in life is. to place a positive impact in people's lives. But I know for me, my purpose is to inspire and to empower women to know that they are more than enough. So they can be vessels of love and positivity like me And I want to help them to fulfill their God given purpose.

That's my purpose. And so my chapter 7 is my quotes I have you know quotes that was written by me and I decided to Make a signature quote every time I sign and um a book for anyone I used to You know, take turns like, you know, let me see which quote, but then I said, no, I'm going to have just this quote because this is a quote that carried me through and ensure that you carry hope with you always, because when you feel like giving up, hope will push you to try again.

That is my signature quote that I use. Uh, I've decided to write, you know, um, whenever I send out a signed copy to anyone. So that's what my book is all about. My book is going to help anyone rebuild their life. It's going to help anyone step into their greatness. And I always say when you step into your greatness, I want you to own that greatness.

Own that greatness with confidence, own that greatness with faith, with joy, but all in all, because I'm a vessel of love and positivity, own that greatness with lots of love. So that's what that book is about.

So you were talking, uh, earlier, uh, procrastination and, you know, I can't tell you that, that word and me go together, you know, but, uh, you know what, you know, you, you spoke on it too, you know, our journeys, uh, you know, no matter what walks we, we take, uh, to walk this, uh, you know, topic called life, you know, we end up, you know, it.

In anywhere, but it's our purpose, our reasoning and the meaning behind everything that we do is how we get ourselves out, you know, from the darkness that, you know, from the storm that we, we, we walked through. Right? , during that time that you were struggling. , I know a pillar of, you know, just from hearing you speak a pillar on your side is God.

Um, what were other, uh, Um, methods or, you know, were there any programs to assist you, you were talking about, um, uh, that you looked at drinking as a, uh, source of avenue to get away from your thoughts, you know, mental health, you know, that's one of the things we talk a lot about on our podcast is mental health.

Uh, can you speak on some of your. You know, alternate routes that you took to try to get yourself out from from that deep, uh, dark area in your life. Yes, thank you. Um, so one of the main programs that I am proud to be a member of is the Wounded Warrior Project. I am a Wounded Warrior Project alumni, and I encourage y'all, if y'all are not a part of the Wounded Warrior, get to it.

, they have the program in Boston. For, uh, PTSD, because I was, uh, diagnosed, uh, with PTSD as well. So they had this two week program. And so that two week program, uh, with the Warrior Care Network, great program. That's what it No, no, no. It's the Warrior Care Network. It's a two week treatment for PTSD. And so you have to, you know, you can't drink, you can't smoke for people who smoke for those two weeks.

So I actually started that journey in 2018 when I went to stop drinking. But then when we had our Thanksgiving that year, I went right back to drinking. But as life got harder again, I had to get, you know, to get right with God, to get right with myself. And, and so the Wounded Warrior Project has been like really the main, um, the main program that has helped me.

And I used to attend Bible study with my spiritual mama, uh, Mama May. And yeah, that was, those were the only, uh, Programs. And I had an amazing support system. I have friends, mentors, you name it, coaches. I am grateful to everyone that who's, you know, who's been a part of my journey because I didn't get here by myself.

And I always tell people that never forget who helped you get to where you are. And I am grateful to each and everyone who has touched my life in some kind of way. I have one more question. Uh, so, and this is just regarding the, uh, uh, influence. Uh, so, uh, muscle, uh, wounded warrior, uh, project alumni too, as well.

So, Nice, glad to meet you, uh, and everything that we do. Uh, so, I personally know two authors or someone authors and they're both females. So one is Sia Figuel, I don't know if you heard, uh, heard her, but, um, I wanted to ask you, uh, do you, when you were writing your book, did you take, uh, who? Did you have any influencers, Samoan women that were currently authors that kind of influenced you or was this just, you know, or anybody else for that matter?

You know, just, just, uh, just a question. No, not at all. Um, like I said, when, , I was a part of the power voice through Les Brown, that's when I met a publisher and I said to myself, You know, God has brought me through a lot and I really want to tell my story and I really want to touch people's lives. I really want to make a difference in this world and just to place a positive impact in people's lives by telling my story.

And how did I get to where I am today? And in my book, I'm, you know, talking about the steps that I, you know, that I took, , and everything that I have, uh, you know, that I have used to get to where I am. Um, it was not a pretty ride. , there were many times in my life and my journey that I wanted to give up.

But like I said, you have to tell yourself that your why is that strong and your why is that big. And just knowing that your purpose, you know, what your purpose, you know, in life and I learned that, uh, it's okay to say no, you know, and just setting boundaries, you know, with things that are not aligned with God's calling in my life.

And so that's,  that's where I am. I wish I knew those, uh, female, uh, Samoan authors, but, I didn't, uh, know of anyone. And like I said, I, I just wanted to leave that legacy, you know, for my children and I love writing and. I loved myself enough to be that change for me and yeah, that was why.

connections, connections are important, not just, you know, social networking and all that. And, you know, having people you can, , name drop at any given moment at different functions. But I believe your story will connect with, you know, not just women. Everyone. It's a, it's a universal story, you know, loss and triumph that people often go through and, you know, I think people will connect.

Like you said, you know, our story, everybody's story is a blueprint and they'll recognize that and be able to connect on that level. And speaking of connections, you know, this 2020 year. It either strengthen connections with people inside their own little circles or are it weaken or just cut people off From the outside world or having any feeling of connection so what I want to ask you and I don't mean to try to ask you for free, but Is it is there any?

Steps or advice, especially, you know, being a woman and, you know, us being a bunch of meatheads, we have wives and stuff, but you being able to connect with women more, are there, is there any advice that you could put out there for them to sort of follow to take a first step in self love, you know, not just record, not just recognition, like, Oh, I need to love myself, but what can they do to, you know, step out of that comfort zone of, you know, of not moving, given the maybe The ability to move to, you know, whatever stems from that goal of loving themselves.

Man, I love this question. You know why? Because you said something about stepping out of your comfort zone. I'm actually writing a chapter on that because I had to step out of my comfort zone in order for me to enter my growth zone. And so to all my sisters out there, to women, to everyone, the first thing I would say is to know your worth.

Knowing your worth. Know that worthy is my name. That is Dr. Carla. You know, that's that's her saying worthy is my name. And that's why I came up with that fly first love yourself because I didn't know, you know how to Because I was too busy loving, you know, my ex, loving the kids, love on everybody else.

And we as mothers, as women, you know, it's, it's in us to always love others. But I just encourage, you know, all my sisters and even to everyone, you know, love yourself first because you can't. Love others if you don't love yourself and like I said, every thing that I share is from experience And so I had to believe that my worthiness is important So know your worth and step out, you know, step out of your comfort zone do something different do for you You know always know and I had to tell myself that you know what I can't be for everyone So guess what?

I can't be for everyone because I am going to be for me, you know, by myself, for myself. I have to be for me, for myself, by myself, for myself. You know, in order for me, I have to work so hard on me. In order for me to have, because you can't pour from an empty cup. Right. So I had to be that person to be strong enough to have that courage, the strength and everything in order for me to help somebody else.

Like I said, the very first step, you know, is to, you know, know your worth, but in my book and all that I've been through, I came to never change. You know, the very first step that got me to where I am was to allow God to be the sole cornerstone of your life. But it was the answer to your question of, you know, what would I say?

You know, the first thing to say to a woman or to my sister, and that's my thing, honey, know your worth, know that you are more than enough, know that you are more than a conqueror. You know, and everything in that once you realize that you are worth more than anything, your life will change and it'll change for the betterment of you and not for anybody else.

And that's, that's some amazing advice. And from hearing your experience and what you've gone through life, I. I now understand why you hold that title of, , motivation life coach. Uh, my question to you is at what point did you decide to help people by being like, basically coaching them in business and in life and how, how's that working out for you?

Thank you for the question. So it's always been in me, ,  to help, you know, to coach, to guide and to lead, , all my life. But. It really took all the challenges of life for me to say that this is God's calling for my life. You know, for me to be, to use all that I have been through to be a blessing to somebody else.

So, like I said, I'm very transparent and authentic with my journey. I, I may be doing it wrong and I know I am because people always tell me, you know, why aren't you monetizing? Um. When you coach and I am working on it, but as of right now I am coaching and helping people, but how God is blessing me is more than money can buy.

And so that's where I am with life coaching, you know, with mentoring, with leading and just being, you know, that other person that someone can count on, you know, where I am with my life. So, like I said, uh, how God has kept me this. far in this long. It just amazes me and I'm just grateful, you know, to how he has brought me through this foreign life.

But is it okay? I want to share this song. Like I said, I'm not a singer, but I love this song. This is the song that has carried me through, , all the challenges of life till now. Never could've made it, never would've made it without you. I could've lost it all, but now I see how you were there for me, yeah.

That's all. That's all I wanted to share. That was by Marvin Sapp, and that is the only part that I love to sing, um, because If it weren't for God's love, mercy, and grace, I wouldn't be here today. And that's the song from the beginning to this very moment. That's my song.

I was getting in the grind.

I was getting in my feelings with the song. Uh, last last but not least is my, my last question. Um, We have a lot of, uh, single mothers out there, you know, in the world, a lot of them, I don't know what their, the situations are, but you know, there's the, do you have any advice for all the single moms out there?

I know you're a single mom, you're, you're doing it with, you know, beautiful young kids, three took on two, amazing. Any, any, any advice to our, you know, single mom listeners out there for them to keep on grinding every day? Yes. Never doubt. Like I said earlier, I had to believe that never doubt what God has created and what God can birth out of you.

Never doubt that, you know, because you have to believe that God is the sole author and you know, the finisher of your life. And it can be for any, any single, you know, not just single mothers, Single fathers, single parenting is hard, so I advise, I encourage, I inspire, I empower you to believe in yourself, you know, because I believe in you and the two words that I live by daily is live in love, live the life you love and love the life you live and always remember that you matter.

No question for me, but really quick. I just want to say that. Yeah. Your IG handle, it matches PeleInspire, so thanks for coming on. Thanks for sharing. Yeah, you could have kept singing and it would have been the episode. So can I sing when somebody asks me how I'm doing? Can somebody get Debo, please?

Just bring them to me. It's okay. So when someone asks me on any podcast, I'm sure y'all will see this is, this is my baby Depot. This is my lifeline. , yes, this is my lifeline. Okay, so I'm going to share this song. Um, anytime somebody asks me how I'm doing, even when I go out. I was just singing this song too at the commissary and my kids were like, really mom, you sang at the commissary? I said, yeah, he asked me how I'm doing.

So I'm going to tell y'all, ask me how I'm doing. I'm blessed. Yes. Living every moment. No regrets. Smile up on my face. I'm like, Oh yes, I'm blessed. Yes, I'm blessed. Yes, I'm blessed. Yes, I'm blessed. I'm blessed to be here with all of you. Yes, sir. Honored. I am humbled and I am truly grateful. Yeah. Thank you for that.

And, and What we'd like to do here in Behind the Love Level, I haven't done it in our previous guests, but we, we kind of like to ask our guests if they have any questions for us just to kind of improve ourselves. Do you have a question for the panel?  My question is, so how did you guys come up with,  the title Behind the Lava Lava?

I've always wondered that, like, Behind the Lava Lava, so my, uh, my kids said, I said, Oh, I'm going to be on a Behind the Lava Lava, um, podcast. He was like, Behind the Lava Lava? You mean the Lava Lava that we put around?

I'll let T answer that.

Oh, no, I don't really have a good answer. So, we were having like a, we were brainstorming coming up with a podcast. We were having a little poll. Like, hey, what do you want the title to be? And there are multiple ones, and you can only imagine how family friendly they were. You know, especially, um, me and a group of immature Marines.

I, um. The one that ended up winning out that was most appropriate to was behind the lava, lava and this,  you know, like your, your family was like lava, lava, you know, of course, right away, the answer, we all know what's behind there, a surprise, but there's more of a deeper meaning to, and then Michael, Michael will go into the,  The actual true meaning of the name.

So, so behind the Lava Lava, when I brought up the suggestion, suggestion of the name, it was basically replacing the word Lava Lava with person, uh, or individual what's behind the person behind the individual, but Lava Lava, we just use that term because we were all Samoan Marines, For those who don't know behind the Lava Lava, the cast are all veterans.

, Three marine, well, four marines with our part timer,  one navy and one army. So we're all veterans, all Samoan. So that's where the word lava lava came from. Plus lava lava is,  a clothing that we Pacific Islanders use for every day. Uh, especially if you're back in the islands. And, and the idea is that we're all cut from the same cloth.

And that's where the word Lava Lava comes in place. Nice. I have an acronym for, you know, just listening to, you know, the reason behind the Lava Lava. So I love acronyms. So, um, the behind for me, uh, to you guys is that you guys are blessed. You know, you guys are blessing many souls. The E is you guys are empowering, you know, everyone that comes on your show.

The H, you know, I'm thankful for you guys, uh, humbleness. You know, you guys humbled your hearts enough to have this, you know, for everyone. And the I, you guys are inspiring. , You know, you guys have inspired me and the and you, each one of you have that never quitting attitude, , to make it to where you are today and the D, you guys are determined, you know, to make this happen, you know, for the people and so the other team is, uh, the brotherhood, I just say T, you know, for the, and the, the brotherhood that you guys have and another H is that, um, what's another good word?

Bye. H. Um, I can say, uh, maybe the holiness. We all have some kind of holiness and is that holiness amongst all of you, you know, to know and to understand, to have God in,  your lives, you know, to have this podcast for everyone and E you guys are encouraging each other and you guys are encouraging people to share and tell their stories.

And the Lava Lava, um, I'm looking at it,  the love that you guys have for one another and the love for our people, not only just Samoans, but for all Pacific Islanders and everybody else that comes on your show. And A, I, I don't think, I know and I believe that you all are absolutely amazing. And the B is that you guys are victorious.

You guys chose... To be victorious and not be victims of the challenges that you guys have,  went through in life and another a, we just have a whole lot of a's and another a, you know, that I believe that you guys are absolutely unstoppable that you guys didn't allow anything to stop what God's calling, you know, you all to do and win.

The L, I believe that you guys have learned to let go of so many, uh, challenges of life, you know, to let go and let God, you know, guide you through, you know, where you at right now. And another A is,  I can say that you guys are astonishing. And another B is you guys are very, uh, professional. And another A for me is that I am just amazingly amazed with the work that you guys, are doing.

I have, uh, watched some of the videos and the work that you guys do and I want to say thank you. , thank you for your time. Thank you for... You know, the effort that you guys put in to, to make this work, to help people like me, uh, share my story. You know, so it can help somebody out and not only me, I'm sure because if you guys have touched my heart, have touched my life with what you guys are doing, I am positive that everyone that has been on this show that you guys have done just that.

But that's the acronym for Behind the Lava Lava from my heart to y'all.

Thank you. We, we greatly appreciate those, those kind words. Um, do you have any shout outs that you want to do on the show? Yes. Well, my first shout out, of course, is to the amazing, amazing Jesse Stafolu. I call him brother Jesse. I want to say thank you for this. I call it a divine connection. , I, I don't have the words to thank you, Jesse, for this connection that you have blessed me with, but everything goes to God, um, because if you never reach back to me, reply to my message and then to call, you know, meant a lot to me.

And so Jesse, once again, I thank you. I love you and the family. I am grateful for this connection for all of us. I can't wait to meet each and every one of you in person. And I want to really and truly thank my parents, of course, you know, to God, to everyone, to my brother Willie in Vegas, my sister Malai in Samoa and to all my siblings.

But I want to really thank my Children. I want to thank Dominique. Nicole, Dean Jr., Victoria, Isabella, I have many other children, their friends, Asia, Taylor, all the kids that have Thank you. , that I was a part of their life. I want to thank everyone, you know, I want to thank Les Brown, you know, who has transformed my life.

Papa Les Brown and the great family. I have, I just have so many, that's why I said, I don't want to mention any names until my doctor sister, Carla. Please lift her up in prayers and I'm grateful to have her in my life to, , Yoshika, Yoshika Mack. She wrote the foreword to my book and to our amazing, , Congresswoman, Rifatali Amua Amata.

She is the one who endorsed my book. And, um, yeah, to all my readers, to everyone that who has supported my journey, I want to say thank you to each and every one of you. If you have a copy or if you don't have a copy of this book yet, um, I encourage you to inbox me and I would love to, you know, send you a copy of my book and I want to be, you know, a blessing to you.

And so if not, you can always get a copy on Amazon, you know, reach out on my website, PelletInspired. com. And, um, last but not least, my dog, my, my lifeline, Deebo, and I am grateful to everyone, everyone who has been a part of my life, and I am very grateful to all of you for this, uh, amazing connection, and I can't thank you all enough.

And I want to say I love you guys, and I just pray, you know, that God will continue to bless each one of you for the great work that you guys do for so many people and for someone like me. I want to say thank you.

Thank you for joining us today. We are truly honored to have someone like you grace our show with your presence and tell us about your inspiring story and your experience. Words can't express our gratitude to you, but thank you for tuning into this episode of Behind the Lava Lava. I hope you enjoyed our conversation.

If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow Behind the Lava Lava and leave us a review and also follow Pele on social media. Her social media handle is Billy inspire and, um, thank you for joining us. We hope you found this interview informative and insightful until next time. So far, so well, thank you.

Love y'all.